Every person has an inner world and an outer world.
I believe our truest selves emerge when the two align. Transformation only occurs when we are moving towards the space where those two worlds overlap and become more congruent. How do we move towards that space? I believe a large part of that work begins when we invite others, those we trust who provide safe spaces for us, in to our inner world. We start to let them in little by little. It is in that place of intimacy that the journey of transformation begins. I’ve found that when my inner world is exposed to the light of true relationship, when I let it all hang out… let the good, the ugly, the true, the honest, the painful and broken parts of myself out to another soul, that is where my true self begins to emerge.
Make no mistake. This place is risky and can be absolutely terrifying. Being vulnerable often is even when we are with people we trust. It feels like we’re exposing ourselves. That’s probably because we are. We start to ask questions such as,
Will you still like me afterwards?
Will we still be friends?
Will you look down on me?
Will you expose me to others?
Sometimes we get answers we don’t like to those questions. But once in awhile certain people walk into our lives who are willing to journey with us on this difficult road. And when we take these steps toward intimacy we realize the reward is great. Way too great to ignore. We experience freedom unlike anything we have known before. We get to see a closer picture of who God created us to be.
Once we begin to see our true self it’s hard to imagine going back to the way we were. Suddenly the dark places where we used to hide feel too dark. Too isolating. Too lonely. We are drawn to a more liberated life. We also find that shame, the cloak we once wore so comfortably, begins to feel very unbecoming of us. We feel more courage to share our selves and make connections. Our inner and outer worlds become more reconciled. We allow ourselves to make mistakes. We allow ourselves to feel loved and accepted.
It’s a wonder how we lived any other way for so long.