I was wrong and I’m sorry

Over the past year, Steve and I have been doing something I suspect many couples do.  Every time we watch a movie at home, we’ve been swapping our personal favorites.  I’m not a big fan of Rom-Coms or Roms for that matter, so he’s not been tortured in that way.  My top 20 list includes Saving Private Ryan, Fight Club and Nacho Libre.  (Aren’t I just the bestest girlfriend ever?)  However, I have to admit, I do have my favorite period films (and no, Steve, they’re not movies girls watch at that time of the month) – and so far, he’s watched only one of them.  I think he said at one point that I have to watch 3 guy movies for every period film he watches but I don’t think that’s very fair.  Even if my favorite version of Jane Eyre is 4 hours long.  😉

Steve’s favorite movie series is none other than Rocky.  Did you know there are a whopping SIX Rocky movies??  Um, I thought it ended at Rocky 2.  Boy, was I wrong.  And this just in: Rocky 7 is currently in the works.  Maybe it’s time for Rocky Balboa to retire.  Wait, I think he’s been trying to retire for 6 movies.  Needless to say, I wasn’t very thrilled about having to watch the series.  I had successfully avoided watching any Rocky movie for 31 years but I was willing to make the sacrifice for Stevey.  I’m now proud to report that I’ve watched Rocky I through V.  ::patting myself on the shoulder:: And I didn’t dislike any of them!  This isn’t a movie review so I won’t go into the details but the first Rocky is classic.  If you’ve never watched it, you really need to.

Steve & Rocky Statue

Steve posing by the Rocky statue in Philly

A few weeks ago, we finally got around to watching Rocky V.  Maybe the fact that Steve really set the expectations low helped me get through the movie but I actually thought there were some real and honest moments in the film that we hadn’t seen since the first Rocky.  Spoiler Alert (stop reading here if you intend on watching and don’t want to know about the story):  There is one scene when Rocky has to apologize to his son for being an absent father and he says,

I shoulda listened to you.  I was trying to teach you, alright?  But you were teachin’ me and I didn’t wise up. I didn’t know and I made mistakes. And I do things, you know? It bothers me, you know? I forget a lot of things and I just… hey kid. I know I made a few mistakes, you know? But I would love to hang out with you again. Just you and me. 

Clearly not the best executed scene nor the best script, but there is something strangely profound about a tough guy like Rocky admitting he made mistakes and apologizing to his son.  Let’s pause here for a moment.

Did you ever notice that it’s much harder to say “I’m sorry” to someone you’re close to than someone you don’t know very well?  I find that so weird.  Shouldn’t it be easier to apologize to people we know well and who know us best?  Presumably, these people already accept me as I am and know the good, bad and ugly about me, so they should be that much safer and more approachable when I want to apologize.  But no.  It seems that the very reason we’re close makes it that much harder to admit that I hurt or wronged them in some way.  The stakes are higher.  I’ve got much more to lose if they don’t respond well.  It’s so much scarier.

But that’s exactly why I need to.  Because you are someone important to me, because you are someone I love, I have to swallow my pride, fear, anxiety and anything else getting in the way and just say it.

I was wrong, I’m sorry and I love you.

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