The Game I Don’t Want To Play

Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m playing a big ol’ game.

Let’s call this game, the Game of Life.

I am a pink little person and I pick out my shiny little moving piece and I roll the dice and move along the track just like everyone else does when it’s their turn.  I know exactly what to do to win this game.

I pick up a card and it says that I should go to college and study something.  Something that will give me a good future; something that’ll give me a steady income and secure a comfortable retirement.  I pick accounting, naturally.  It’s a profession that is a guaranteed job for life.

Then I move a few spaces and it says I should get married, so I get a little blue husband.  We get along just fine.

Then I have some children along the way.  Maybe one.  Maybe two.  Depending on luck or circumstance, perhaps even three or four.

I get a pay raise with a promotion.  So does my husband.

So we buy a house with a white picket fence, a nicely manicured lawn and a big backyard for the kids to play in.  Of course, it has a nice, spacious kitchen with a big fat island right in the middle and stainless steel appliances.  Wouldn’t have it any other way.

Oh, I forgot to mention, we find a nice church to settle in, of which we become members.  We go to small group every week and serve in the church regularly.  We feel good about it and feel that we are good Christians.

Pretty sure I’m going to win this game.  It’s going smoothly and there are very little hiccups along the way.  I move my piece into the very last section of the game and suddenly something dawns on me.

Why am I playing?  I never wanted to play.  Why did I just go along with it?  Whose voice was I listening to? 

It’s not that I don’t want to get married.  Marriage is a beautiful gift and if it happens, I’ll receive it gratefully and humbly, and love to the best of my ability.

It’s not that I don’t want children.  It’s a blessing to bring life into this world and to be able to experience parenthood.

It’s not that I don’t want a job.  I appreciate the skills that I’ve acquired and the talents I’ve been given to be productive.

It’s not that I don’t want a house.  It’s wonderful to have a place to call home and to provide hospitality to others.

It’s just that I didn’t want to play the game.

I just wanted to live the way that I was created and to the fullest extent of who I truly am.  And if that doesn’t necessarily conform to the milestones in this game, then where am I supposed to be?  How am I supposed to live that life out?  Why does it seem like everyone expects nothing more and nothing less than the game?

And so I wonder. Ponder. I carefully consider.

And I dare to follow the one and only voice that counts.


4 thoughts on “The Game I Don’t Want To Play

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