Growing Older

Today I love the journey of growing older.

Growing older means that I know much more about the world, others and most significantly, myself.  And the more I know, the more I realize that I don’t know much, and the more I am at peace with that.  I become much more thankful for each opportunity to learn and to expand my view of things.

Growing older I experience the discovery of self and how broken and messed up I am.  Sure, it gets exhausting sometimes (or a lot of times), but it’s much more liberating to know my own brokenness and depravity as I relate to the world and others.  It confirms my need for a savior.  It softens my hardened heart to love others and myself better. And that is always a good thing in my humble opinion.

Getting older also means I can slowly start to accept myself for how I was made and how I’ve been shaped by my life experiences.  I try much less to prove to anyone or be someone other than who I am.  That burden of a false self is slowly but surely lifted off my shoulders.  I feel closer to busting out of this cage.

Getting older also forces me to surrender my control over life, others and circumstances. I realize more and more that control is an illusion and the only thing I can really control is myself, and just barely.  I toy much less with false expectations and know that the harder I grip the more I am going to break.

Getting older means my values and beliefs are ever changing yet ever solidified.  I feel less shame about thinking differently than others, and thinking outside of cultural, societal and religious norms.  I am free to approach life with an open mind, ask questions when they come up and make conclusions without the fear of being an outcast.  It’s much easier being a minority.

Growing older means I get to meet people from all different walks of life and I begin to appreciate, more than ever before, the diversity of even just personalities that people embody.  I begin to see that there are many, many more sides to a story than I ever imagined.  I begin to see how large my blind spots are. That helps me to empathize with more people and begin loving them for who they are.

Growing older means I see much less value in material things and much more value in people.  So I start to cling less to physical possessions and cling more to human beings.  This also means that I am more likely to be hurt and disappointed…and more likely that I will cause more hurt and disappointment.  But I also see that it’s worth the risk.

Getting older means there are more opportunities to learn, grow and love.  It’s true that getting older isn’t all that great sometimes but at least for today, I love getting older.  Getting older gives me courage to flap my wings.

And though I’m not ready to fly just yet, my heart beats a little faster at the thought of soaring high.

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