I’m just not that into you.

Just watched the based-on-popular-book movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You” this past weekend.  Surprisingly, it didn’t make the Oscars.*

I thought it was quite comedic, actually, and had some elements of truth to it.  For this post, I guess I could’ve gone with a list of “he’s just not that into me” signs based on personal experience, but I changed my mind and thought it would be much more entertaining and egotistical to come up with a list of signs that say “I’m just not that into you.”  So here goes.  I’m just not that into you if:

  • I’m not returning your e-mails, phone calls or texts.  I am usually very prompt with electronic responses.  Unless my internet is down or my phone battery is dead, I will get back to you within the day, if not within the hour, if not within 5 minutes.  If you haven’t heard from me within the week, then sorry, you’re probably not getting a response.
  • I address you by the following terms:  buddy, dude, yo, man, kiddo or any combination of those, such as: “yo dude” or “yo man” or “dude-man” or “man-buddy.”  This is common knowledge.  Everyone knows if someone calls you these totally neutral terms of “endearment” then they’re either subconsciously or purposely sending you a message.  We’re JUST friends, so get the hint.  On the other hand, if I address you as ‘friend,’ that could mean I am fond of you.
  • I’m talking a whole lot and we don’t know each other well.  I detest small talk and rarely hold a decent conversation.  So if you’re making me do all the talking in our “two”-way conversation, then I’m probably going to avoid you the next time I see you.  I treasure people with whom I can have good conversation and also be comfortably silent.  ::crickets::
  • You look at anything else besides my eyes when we talk.  I get really annoyed by people who look around while I’m talking to them, or those who look at other facial features besides my eyes.  Yeah.  I have a zit on my face.  Get over it.  What a major turn off.
  • You’re married.  Need I say more?  

 

I’m tired.  I think I’ll add more next time.  Until then, what signs do you give to others to let them know that you’re “just not that into them”?  I’m kinda curious to know!

 

*Note:  Sarcastic remark.

Disclaimer:  This post is not meant to be entirely serious or truthful.  It was written for fun and should not be the basis for forming your opinions about the author.  If you want to know what she really thinks and how she behaves, well, get to know her!  Unless she’s just not that into you, cuz then it might be a little difficult.

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8 thoughts on “I’m just not that into you.

  1. I’ll talk with my mouth full. I’ll laugh a little too loudly. I’ll let him know how sweaty & gross i feel on a hot, humid day, or other awkward comments to show that I just don’t care about my appearance in front of him. I’ll talk about a cute guy I just met. However, sometimes, it just doesn’t work. Sometimes, he’s just not that in tune with it =).

  2. I do the buddy thing and if I use the term “friend” it might not mean that I’m into you but it might mean you have a chance. haha

    hmmm … I don’t like the looking in eyes thing, because sometimes I don’t like looking people in the eyes, I feel self conscious, I don’t want them to think I’m staring! It’s odd.

    The email/text thing is NOT a good gauge for me because I always feel the need to respond to everything … I think this is something work instilled into me. blah!!

    I guess a sure sign that I’m not into you would be my disinterest in hanging out with you or something.

  3. “I detest small talk and rarely hold a decent conversation.”

    I know that the first part of the sentence is true.. but not the second!

    I love this post!!! SO FUNNY!!!

  4. YO DUDETTE!
    oh my word, this post was so great. it’s so mean though- to say all that stuff so bluntly and then say people can’t trust it. i mean- what if there’s a guy who’s TOTALLY into some cate song…reads this blog and gets all pumped ’cause he finally has some insight and then reads that he can’t trust it? HOW MEAN! 😉 but like you said- he’s got to get to know you. seriously this whole dating/feeling things out stuff is a little crazy. no? people are so different. like- when Esther’s feeling a guy- i’m sure she’d make him something ambitiously delicious yes?

  5. Ash,

    You should come by so I can make YOU something ambitious delicious. How about that? 🙂 And of course, Cate is always invited too!

    How’s that for answering a question with an answer that is not really answering the question but sounds like I was answering the question?

  6. yeah – way to dart the question. LAME! but yeah- okay so i’ll be over in 5…i just have to come down to the 2nd floor and cross the lobby..*reality hits*

    *tears*

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