We regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

In light of Valentine’s Day, I thought I would post something relevant to the day o’ love.  I’m expecting my box of extra dark chocolate and dozen yellow tulips to arrive any moment now, so in order to kill the time, I thought why not post a blog entry?  

The other night in a moment of sheer curiosity at around 1:30am I was reading through my past blogs and “accidentally” clicked on the eHarmony link that I had “unintentionally” put up in a previous post.  That’s the story I’m sticking with.  Don’t ask me any questions.  

Man – the homepage that popped up made me all tempted to log in.  This very nice looking couple, the guy’s arms wrapped around the woman, both beaming with million dollar smiles.  It was a beautiful picture.  Their names were Monica and Josh.  Matched by eHarmony and if they were not representatives of the Happily Ever After, then I don’t know who is.  

3 years ago, my friends and I were on this eHarmony curiosity phase and we all registered and filled out the profiles just to see the results.  I remember doing that evaluation.  It took me 3 (THREE) HOURS to finish.  It was the most thorough self-examinative questionnaire I had ever filled out in my entire life.  I remember the assessment being very insightful.  It even gave me a description of the type of person that would be a good match for me.  Overall, I was glad I did it – I learned more about myself.  I never went ahead to actually get matches.  

So remembering my experience 3 years ago, I got REAL curious about what my results would be like this time.  I sure ain’t the same person from 3 years ago… or even 1 year ago.  So I thought, what the hell, let’s try this again.  So I registered.  I completed the questionnaire, and surprisingly, it only took me about 30 minutes this time.  I tried to be as honest as I could and went with first gut answers, instead of thinking too much about it (which is how they recommend you to do it).  So I finish the questionnaire, and I click a button like “Find My Matches” to get my results and I get the following message from eHarmony.

eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.

We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.

Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

By this time it was past 2am and you wouldn’t believe the loud roar of laughter that came out of my mouth.  I hope I didn’t wake the neighbors… or my housemates, for that matter.  Apparently I am unfit for the dating and marriage world!  I was SO curious about what I answered that would make them put me in this 20% we-can’t-match-you-because-you-are-unfit-for-marriage category.  Is it that I am never satisfied or content?  Is it that my life priority isn’t to necessarily find a life-long partner, and somehow the test picked up on that?  I don’t know.  But I’m glad I did this for 2 reasons. 

1.  I now have an official excuse for my parents when they bother me about eHarmony.  

2.  I realize I am like everyone else.

I’ve never felt a strong need to get married, have children and all that jazz.   But that doesn’t mean that I don’t get lonely or hope to go through this life journey with someone significant.  I am human.  I want to be accepted and and loved and cared for and belong.  I think I’m finally starting to come to terms with the fact that finding a life-long partner may or may not happen.  Am I going to be proactive if there are opportunities?  Sure!  Am I going to grab at things that are unreachable?  No!   I certainly haven’t figured anything out on how all of this is supposed to work… but one thing’s for sure:

I’m done with eHarmony.  hahaha….

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone. 😉

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6 thoughts on “We regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.

  1. i find ur entries entertaining. not b/c it’s necessarily “haha funny,” but b/c it’s a candid snapshot of ur life. please keep posting. perhaps it will make me feel like i’m still actively a part of the life i left in ny=P

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