It is our fervent wish this year first of all.

Now where did my dad get the word “fervent” from?

A couple of weeks ago, I received an e-mail from the parental unit ( ::wink wink sara chai:: ).  The subject was “search ggok.”  Ggok means must in Korean.  I curiously opened up the e-mail wondering what he could be referring to that I MUST do.  I click on the e-mail and it says the following:

Dear Cate, Please try to apply as following web-site, ….

I cracked up initially.  And then I continued to read the rest of the e-mail.  Apparently my parents had visitors last weekend; visitors whose son had recently gotten married to someone he met on e-harmony, and how it makes sense for me to try this website out as well since it is our family’s #1 prayer that I get married as soon as possible and that is the sole freaking purpose of my life to get married and have children and live in a nice house and have a nice income and then make more babies and then grow old, have a nice retirement and then finally die.  And I wonder why I feel like I’m living in a cage.

So the e-mail didn’t exactly say all that.  But I sighed.  A big sigh.  I haven’t had the courage enough to break it to my parents that getting married is not my life’s goal.  It never was, it isn’t now, and it never will be.  I don’t have anything against marriage.  In fact, I think it is one of the miracles and gifts of life.  If I ever find anyone who I feel that strongly about, that it would be better and more purposeful to live out this life with him than without him, then maybe I’ll give it some heavy consideration.  But that’s not the case right now.

Today I got a follow up e-mail.  Apparently my initial response of “I’ll think about it” wasn’t sufficient.  

Hi Cate, Please try to visit this website and find out your best. Umma and Appa pray for you every day very very…this is our fervent wish this year first of all.


Fervent wish??  Even more than peace on earth?  Or winning the lotto?  I just think it’s hilarious.  I get these speeches every time I visit them, and these e-mails, and those group meetings they go to without my consent… but I don’t feel any pressure at all, strangely.  But I sigh because of their tunnel vision.  I’ll admit, I’ve only lived for so long and my parents have a hell of a lot more wisdom, life experience, and sense than I do.  But when it comes to life purpose and how that plays out practically here on earth, we just don’t see eye to eye.  I don’t feel like it’s my job to convince them of anything.  And they might be right.  I might turn 60 and still be single because I wasn’t active in trying to find someone in my 20s and 30s, and I might look back and say I should’ve listened to them.  But something inside me tells me that I’ll be fine.  Whether I am married or I stay single.  

Maybe I’ll send them an e-mail and say something like,

Dear Umma & Appa, it is my fervent wish that you stop bothering me about getting married...


6 thoughts on “It is our fervent wish this year first of all.

  1. Let’s go to the bar together one of these days and drink to our singleness and our independence from the ideas and goals the world has for us.

    (Just kidding to the bar part… i’m not 21 yet ._.)

    I appreciate that you know you’ll be fine no matter what happens.

    Thanks for sharing this story=]

  2. I don’t know if it’s possible to persuade them that our desire to find out our life’s purpose isn’t some deluded whimsical notion, but an essential journey we must undertake on our own, without their maneuvering, if we are to ever be “happy”. Happy, the very thing they want us to be.

  3. Good question. I think my ambition has always been the same, I just wasn’t aware of it the entire time until recently. My ambition, purpose, and wish in life is to live fully and freely. Now what this looks like practically is a whole other story…

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